I have decided to stop blogging here for now as the contents on the blog are currently questionable. 

NO LONGER BLOGGING HERE
High time for a new start elsewhere.

Thinking it might actually be high time to close this blog down. Looking back at the archives, I don't even understand half the things I was rambling about? I just know that I was one hella angsty kid man. :O That idiot Gawaine went to laugh at my 2007 posts so I got pretty curious on how terrible they were (well he was mostly laughing at the photos, but I had a bad feeling about my posts anyway...) and it turns out........................................

I should prolly go dig a hole and hide myself there forever. My god THE PHOTOS. :(

Happy 1090th post to myself.

It's already close to the end of my internship. Funny how much has changed ever since I last posted anything here. For starters, I'm on my way to continuing as a regular part-timer in Transformers. Plus, the "crazy supervisor" I once talked about in September 23 is currently one of my favourite leads to be around. My relationship with my colleagues has also improved drastically ever since I stopped taking MCs to skip work and being late for work.

And it's such a relief to have CW back in my life again. The two weeks I had to survive without him was........ A learning experience. Two weeks isn't much to some of the people out there who break up for months apart and then get together again, but to me it was pretty tough. Guess I'm not that strong afterall.

With the arrival of February, we're actually going to touch our 9th month. Can't wait for our upcoming trip to BKK with John and Alvin (my colleagues) in April. It'll be like the most ginormous present to myself for turning 20 this year since we're coming back 5 days before my birthday. It'll be a huge comfort too since I dread turning the big 2. My god, 2 decades old. 2/5 of a century. (Quite proud to say that this is going to be the first overseas trip that I'm paying everything for by myself)

One thing that hasn't changed since the last post is that E and I're still not on talking terms. There have been many moments when I suddenly feel this tremendous sadness over the state we're in now, especially since I think around now or next week would've marked a whole year of our friendship. I've thought about approaching her a couple of times, but knowing how she is maybe it's better that I leave her alone.

Recently went back to school to do my internship presentation. I used to miss school so much when I first started internship. But right now I think I'd choose working at Transformers any day. Things're just so much simpler there. I don't know, maybe this is only cause school only reminds me of how many people I've drifted apart from.

I really hate drifting from people. It sucks too that sometimes Idk if I'm important to the people I hold close to me. Such is life I guess.

This emptiness that I can't seem to run away from. Every time I'm reminded that I'm not your priority anymore, your cold replies, your lack of want to talk to me. It feels like I'm being stabbed over and over again.

I will honestly say this week has been one of the shittiest weeks I've had in my 19 years of life. The only one comparable might be one of the weeks from last year...? I think the first week right after Feb 21. Losing a friend, fighting with my family, losing CW.

I'm at a loss of what to do. I wish E was still talking to me. I feel so pathetic because this week it's like I'm either losing or fighting with my loved ones. I feel like my heart is going to die on me very soon.

Ending my life would be the easiest way out, but I don't really feel like going to hell yet.

Maybe the whole world would be better without me in it.

Hanging out at Qing's now with Keith and Qing. Q's trying to figure out if QX likes her or not LOL. This has been going for like forever. Well not forget technically cos the girl was attached to an ass for a whole year but yea. You get the point.

The title says it all. It's only my first day back at work and already I feel like it's been my hundredth. Maybe it's the whole "post-being-sick" thing. I just feel damn lethargic and nua all over. Kinda sucks too that I didn't get to meet any of my friends before work too. :( I FEEL SO LONELY.

The only good thing that shall come out of today is that I'm going to see CW after work. Oh and Wendy just came in. She's one of the rare people who actually goes out of the way to acknowledge my presence AND have a conversation with me hahaha. Sucks that she's leaving soon tho... Speaking of leaving bb's going to start on another week of standby tmr so basically after seeing him today I won't get to see him til next Tuesday -.-

Seriouslyyyy I think I am invisible here :((((((((((((

Day 4 into my fever and it's nowhere getting better. I'm guessing it's because of the prata I ate for dinner last night that caused my temperature to fly from 37.3 to the current 38.4. I think it's high time to start on that hxc porridge diet my boyfriend has been talking about. 













Internship hasn't been kind to me. I've got this crazy supervisor who keeps demanding that Elise and I memorise ALL the attractions of USS (like height limits and what how to generally describe each ride), ALL the F&B outlets, and I have a feeling she's going to demand for ALL the retail shops. Ye god save ye souls.

My supervisor has also very kindly decided to give me two weeks of work straight with only two off on weekdays each. FML MAX LA I WANT TO GET OUT OF HERE SO FUCKING BADLY.

My friends from other attractions're getting odd off days like fri and sat/basically one weekday and one weekend off. BUT ME? Nooooo ALL my offs are on weekdays. I'm so mad! It's like they asked for our availability but don't give a single day off that we want? NOT EVEN ONE OUT OF TWO WEEKS???!!! EXCUSE ME??!!! What's the point of even giving then?!

Tomorrow I have decided that I am going to demand a reason from them. Even if they want to give Elise and I shitty off days for the rest of the time here, I'll still need the reason behind to shut myself up. I don't understand how the past interns will want to stay on and serve part-time?!

Okay bye enough ranting.

I love my boyfriend so much for tolerating everything I throw at him. My moodswings are the worst around him for some reason. :( It's like how my mum's is the worst around me I guess. But her reason would be more legit lol.

I love you Lam Cheng Wai. The next few months aren't going to be easy, but I'll try my best.

P.S. Currently interning at USS's Transformers and will be until 1 Mar next year. Wish me luck. Do pray for me because the hours to be clocked in are absolutely insane. -_-

It was more of an emotional day for me than learning anything technical. I've been posted to intern at Universal Studios Singapore's Transformers ride for the next six months, and expected to learn much on the first day of this journey. However, such was not the case. I did learn some, but most of the things they were talking about I'd already learnt during my lessons the last semester. They don't call it "Theme parks and attractions management" for nothing. ;)
. Not literally, of course. Just long enough for me to actually be embarrassed about harboring such feelings for a length of time that is inappropriately longer than allowed.


sleep with both of them in the end, just seperately.